. . . 07.30.2026 - something about people and humans

I've been thinking a lot recently, I've felt this kind of weird sense of loneliness, I consider myself to have a lot of friends but even then I can't help but feel strangely lonely? I wonder why that is. I've been in uni vacation for over a month, I don't know many people irl so I haven't gone out that much, I'm thinking that this isolation is making me feel lonely even with the many people I speak to!

But I kind of enjoy loneliness? Even if sometimes it's really negative, there's something comforting about yourself! But I won't be lonely in the physical sense either for a while, I'm going to the countryside to visit my mom before the next semester begins... I feel weird in her house, since it's her and some other family members, suddenly there's no "my space" anymore, it's "our space" now, I suppose!

I end most of my sentences with exclamation marks, even if I don't mean to yell or to be enthusiast about something, it's just something that looks so friendly to me... yeah? I like it!

Back to people, ever since un-privating this site, forcing myself to feel the shame of people possibly looking at this site that possibly doesn't look that good, since it's my first ever, I've managed to see a lot of kind messages on my guestbook... And it makes me think, lately it seems like all humans are trying to be agaisnt eachother, social media is so toxic, it's like you mostly see the worst people around! But then you can see and remember there's actual humans! Good ones at that.

I was never able to identify with the word "human", it entailed a lot of destruction, fake systems, nothing positive could come from it. But recently I guess I've felt more at peace with the term, "human"... But to me it even looks dehumanizing...? Does that make sense? The word human being not human enough? I really adore the word person, and its plural, people... I am a part of these... people, right? People can be horrible, kind, beautiful, boring, inspirational, it's such a concept!

Nnnnhn feels good to put these thoughts in words, it feels good to write ! Even though my keyboard is so noisy it makes me want to rip out my ears a little ! Teehee~ I don't feel thoughtful anymore, I let it all out, I'm back to being nnn...normal.... and typing wrong... more and more these words start making less sens and moore abbrviations and bad spellimg starts consumimg meeee... I hope u accept botj versions of me

I wish everyone has a joyous week~ I might be a little inactive for a sec since I'm gonna gooo to countryside and I don't think I can edit the site on my phoneee... And also with uni starting I might pause the production a little!! But in any case, I consider the website 50% done! I just need to add the About, Oc list and the Shrine index~ And possibly decorate even MORE! What I wanted the most was my little blog, so that's the most I'll be doing :3

Hmmhmmm I need to cook my lunch... ! So this is all I'll write for now... I wonder if I should make a rambling tag? Cuz this doesn't fit in any other tags... OH!! What I really want to implement is blog comments... for each blog page~ We can ramble together... I guess there's no way to tell me if the rambling tag is a good idea uuhmm... I'll consider it by myself ! I guess you can send a comment or... another guestbook msg? Hehh...